Online computer games ruining my relationship

Hi everyone, I'm new here and am looking for some support and advice.
I have been with my BF for 2 years now. He plays EVE and EQ2. My previous relationship ended because of these online games, My ex BF got sucked into them and it basically took over his life. I have expressed my concern about online games ever since i fist met my current BF. It has now gotten to the point where he lies to me and blows me off so that he can play the games. When i confront him about it he gets very defensive and turns it onto me, telling me I'm controlling and manipulative etc. Yesterday he finally came forward and admitted to all of this. I feel so hurt and heartbroken and almost ended it. This is exactly what i have said would happen and he always told me he would always put me first, which now is obviously not the case. So today i told him that i didn't want him to play online games anymore, that i couldn't handle dealing with the heart ache for a second time. In other words i basically said it's either me or computer games. He had such a hard time letting go of the game, he kept making excuses as to why he wanted to play (to spend time with his brother that lives in another state) I told him that his brother would always be his brother and he can still talk to him on the phone everyday just like he does already. That he doesn't need a computer game to have a relationship with his brother. he put up such a fuss but finally cancelled subscriptions and said he wouldn't play anymore games.

Now after all that said and done... i was hoping we could put the past behind us and start fresh. But now he is angry with me and holding a grudge against me because i made me give up his "second life". He is doing things that he knows i don't like purposely to hurt and wind me up. I love him so much, but i just cant take this anymore. It's obvious he has some sort of addiction maybe or something. I want to be supportive and try to help him but he cant see that stopping those games is the best thing for himself and our relationship. I just don't know what to do. everytime i talk to him i just basically get kicked in the face. Does anyone here understand or can anyone give me any advice on what i should do, how to support him and help him, how to deal with his grudge against me?
I don't want to give up on him, on our relationship, but its coming dangerously close to being over.

Please help???

Not a very good situation... Some people just gotta game. It sounds like you made him stop, but he has no reason to stop other than you.

Wait for some of the other forum members to come here, we have a few smart people here that I'm sure will offer some helpful input

Thanks you i could really use it!

hm.........at least its not WoW?



well anyway, talk to him (or her, im not sure if ur a boy or girl) and tell them its either u or the games!

those mmo's a real relationship breakers, maybe you two could find games that you can play together

like meteos!

playing a game with him is not an option. This is just too far out of hand. Everything seemed ok this morning but now we've just finished having another fight because he is now saying im making him choose between mis brother and myself.... his brother has nothing to do with the reason i dont want him playing anymore. He is saying to to make me feel guilty. He think that now that he cant play those games he will just find new games to play... why is he having such a hard time with understanding that no matter what online game he plays, it's still going to have the same effect on our relationship. and now its not only me and him fighting about it i have influences from his online friends telling him that i shouldnt be making him quit... This is just getting too much.

I havn't got much experience in this field. But if you feel your relation ship is dying because of al this, then why don't you arrange something that you two could do together that you both enjoy. Like whatching movies. Do stuff to take his mind off the games so he doesn't hold a grudge anymore. Or at least not have him express the grudge anymore.

Sounds like your boyfriend needs to get his priorities straight. Specifically, You first, games second. I game on my own time, but when my girlfrind wants to go out, we go out. Apparently your boyfriend feels the need to put you and games on a scale.

I would say you both just need to come to a realistic agreement. I mean, you cannot expect him to stop gaming entirely, and he cannot expect you to stay with him if he pays no attention to you at all. I also think you need to find out if he even wants to carry on the relationship, because to me it sounds likes he's just blowing you off and using the games as an excuse. I say that because I am pretty addicted to games, but if I really like somebody, the games and everything else comes second. Good luck with it all

the advice given is very good, however if he is too stubborn, try to make a compromise e.g. he could play games as long as you go out together a few days a week, or a few hours a day. or something similar

I say create a character and keep killing him till he refuses to play! haha...jk..but you might wanna go see a counselor or something.