The Grand List of Console RPG Cliches!

N

Nova

Boom-shacka-lacka
Something I found while exploring GFaq boards.  I laughed by *** off quite a few times.

http://project-apollo.net/text/rpg.html

I don't recall anything being offensive, so it should be all good.

See how many you can find in your favorite RPG's.

And remember, Kingdoms=Good, Empires=Evil :lol

Its a big list too, about 196 if I recall.
 
It's funny that so many of those are so true.

#90 is my favorite:

90. Guy in the Street Rule
No matter how fast you travel, rumors of world events always travel faster. When you get to anywhere, the people on the street are already talking about where you've been. The stories of your past experiences will spread even if no witnesses were around to see them.
 
My personal favorite of myself and one of my friends is number 30: Selective Parasylis:

Your characters must always keep both feet on the ground and will be unable to climb over low rock ledges, railings, chairs, cats, slightly differently-colored ground, or any other trivial objects which may happen to be in their way. Note that this condition will not prevent your characters from jumping from railroad car to railroad car later in the game.

I can't believe how many there are...
 
Haha, man, that's awesome. It's pretty funny how pathetic videogame plots are. I just loved the tone the whole article had to it, completely riddled with sarcasm and wit. My personal favorite:

27. Nostradamus Rule
All legends are 100% accurate. All rumors are entirely factual. All prophecies will come true, and not just someday but almost immediately.

Great stuff, I also liked the comment about the enemies you'll face "giant spiders, giant scorpions, giant snakes... and dragons. Always dragons."
 
lol, this is the greatest thing ever.

32. You Can't Kill Me, I Quit (Seifer Rule)
The good guys never seem to get the hang of actually arresting or killing the bad guys. Minor villains are always permitted to go free so they can rest up and menace you again later -- sometimes five minutes later. Knowing this rule, you can deduce that if you do manage to kill (or force the surrender of) a bad guy, you must be getting near the end of the game.

33. And Now You Die, Mr. Bond! (Beatrix Rule)
Fortunately for you, the previous rule also applies in reverse. Rather than kill you when they have you at their mercy, the villains will settle for merely blasting you down to 1 hit point and leaving you in a crumpled heap while they stroll off, laughing. (This is, of course, because they're already planning ahead how they'll manipulate you into doing their bidding later in the game

:lol
 
Old topic I know, but many people here are new and might not have seen this list. It's still just as amusing as it was back then.
 
Ahh, I remember this. :lol

Now that we're in the new generation, I wonder how many of these cliches developers will try to tackle?
 
Bump - because KAZ likes to discuss rpgs.

I think some of these apply to anime as well, though. I'm going to have to go through them again.
 
#20 Just Nod Your Head And Smile
And no matter how big that sword is, you won't stand out in a crowd. Nobody ever crosses the street to avoid you or seems to be especially shocked or alarmed when a heavily armed gang bursts into their house during dinner, rummages through their posessions, and demands to know if they've seen a black-caped man. People can get used to anything, apparently.

:lol
 
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