My poetry and songs

Apr 2006

Poetry, just some lonely words to stimulate the mind,
Deep meaning, pointless blather, what does the reader find?

Things hurt, paralyze the mind with fear,
Can't feel the warmth of others standing near.

An empty shell, so cold and heartless, I shall never be,
I've got to have it all layed bare, let you in to see.

Open up the possibility of destruction to save my sanity,
Open up my heart to feel, to set me truly free.

No words to say, no words to mean a thing,
Nurse the hurt, rest the broken wing.
Apr 2006

All alone, in a great big world, looking for something real,
Sitting on an empty hill, wishing I didn't have to feel.

Staring into mirrors, they give a dim reflection,
And I think it's me, if only I could reach perfection.

Could be noone else is real, could be I imagined you,
I think my heart's confused, cuz it keeps aching too.

Forever and ever, on top of a hill, waiting for answers in my mind,
Scared to move forward, afraid emptiness is what I'll find.
Apr 2006

Ecstatic tootalidge of toy poodles, drowning lolli pops in ice cream pools,
Fighting coroners with dice and stares, my cabbage patch kid drools and drools.

I begin to remember the ancestors of the ewoks, and feel the dynamic entities of cold wars.
Trusting that the May-Tag man will deliver me a wooden doll to unclog all my pores.

Fetal position of a developing elephant, hyperventilating as the computer blinks.
Can't handle the claustrophobic crocodiles. The backpack sits and stares and thinks.

I grow up without ever wanting to floss, and lose all my precious eye balls.
But I'm still not paying the realotor, and won't accept any fast food calls!
mrs_enigma said:

Window to a soul, stained glass of face,
Underneath the skin, inside a secret place.

Touched by time, hidden deep,
Wrapped in bandages that weep.

Life's cold blow, gouging holes inside a heart,
A path for feet, no place to start.

Shattered fantasy, question all that's there,
Memories of something, twisted and unfair.

Magic passes by, but never lands,
Waiting, yearning, standing there with outstretched hands....
I'm being 100% serious.
Apr 2006
RJ1022 said:
Your poetry... "inspired" me to write some of my own. You mind if i post them here? If you don't want me to i'll just start another thread.
I would LOVE to read some poems you wrote, but I would appreciate if you start your own thread for them, because some of my friends who are not a part of this forum come here to read my poetry, and I think it might be confusing for them if various people were posting poems in this thread.
The Gift Of The Waterfall by Gelfwings

And she knelt there, patiently, with her hands cupped before

And a small droplet fell into her hands, a gift from the waterfall to her.

And she looked down into her hands waiting for more to come, but more never came.

She waited all through the day and deep into the night, looking up with great admiration and longing at the waterfall.

Somewhere water was falling...bathing whatever it chose in it's own sweet glory.

And she looked down into her hands and realized nothing more would ever come...this was her gift in its entirety.

And she hung her head and squeezed her eyes shut tight at the painful thought of it.

It was not enough to make the sun shine. It was not enough to bring the rain was not enough to cleanse her soul or fill her up.

It was not enough..

And still she held her hands out, open, cupped, cradling the droplet as if she held heaven in her hands.

And indeed, to her it was. Nothing had ever been greater, or grander, or worth more to her then what she now held so carefully in her palms.

She swallowed hard and opened her eyes and looked down at what the waterfall had bestowed.

She knew somewhere the mighty waterfall cascaded over someone else. It's majestic beauty and magical presence blessing them in full force.

And she thought back to all she had ever had in the when her hands had been full...and she realized that they had only, always, been full of empty air until this exact point.

All the times that she had ever thought that she was full, she had been empty and it had all been but a sad dream.

And now the droplet glistening in her hand was more then she had ever had before. And though just one drop out of millions...she looked at it in awe...with new eyes...for it was more then she had ever been given.

She still longed to be bathed by the waterfall, she still wished to have the scars washed clean and her soul drenched in it's beauty...

But she knew that what she held was the most precious thing she had ever held, and she knew exactly what she would do with it.

She quickly, and with great excitement, ....full of gratefulness and joy..opened up her heart and soul completely...and then..ever so slowly and carefully...she let the droplet run down her hand and over her fingertips and fall into her chest.

And then she sealed her heart back up...tightly so that no other could ever enter there where she had placed her precious drop.

And she let the droplet touch her soul and gently caress her scars.

She was not healed. No, not even close, but she could feel it there inside of her and it was the strongest feeling she had ever felt....her adoration and love and thankfulness to the waterfall for allowing her to have the droplet.

And she layed down on her back, and put her hand over her heart and closed her eyes and concentrated on the feeling there. She could feel it with every beat of her heart. It was the most cherished of any gift received. The most exalted of any feeling she had ever felt.

“Thankyou, “ she whispered up at the waterfall. And the waterfall kept up it's mighty rushing elsewhere....but the drop was hers to keep. :)

the end
Lil Dead Thing by Gelfwings

It's over now, It's done. That was my one chance, but I have chosen poorly.

That was it. All I got. It's over now it's gone.

It died. My sad broken crumpled died. I cannot hold it in my arms, I cannot feel it's warmth. It died.

The loss, the grief, the tears, for something I never had but lost. I thought I had but didn't. Now I wonder how it feels and what it means, but I shall never know.

It was here so long, hurting, wounded, crumpled mess, and I tried to love it all. But it died.

How can I hang on to something I never had? I fooled myself so long, but now I see so sharply. So sharply that it feels like daggers pressing deep within.

That was all. It's over. That was it.

No sense trying again. It was not meant to be. Never there for me. I am not chosen. Not one of the lucky few.

I am not hoping, I am not waiting, because I know my lot now, my way in life.

I am not the one. I tried to make it beautiful, but it could not grow, runty lil shriveled thing. It could not thrive. It died.

I mourn my loss, for it was all I had. I mourn my loss, cuz I thought it was something, but it was just a lil dead thing all along.

You can't fix dead things, you can't make em grow, it was never beautiful. It was never there, tho I wished so hard, tho I tried so much.

I miss the crumpled dead thing, for it was all I ever had. At least it was a taste of something, even if it tasted bad.

I had my shot, my try, its over now. Its done. Time to move on, for that part of life is gone. It was not meant to be, no not with him, not with anyone, not forever. Not for eternity.
Ink by Gelfwings

I am scared. I am small. I am alone in darkness.
You cannot reach. You cannot touch. None can enter here.

It is my own, my own sweet inky nothingness.

It is my soul. It is swelling up inside of me.

It is so cold here. So alone here. Filled with doubt, filled with regret. Filled with agony.

U cannot give here. The glass is still between us. You cannot reach here, the depths of hell here, but only ink. Just inky black.

In my corner in my pit, in my cell, and in my well, of my own choosing, by my own admission.

You may not come here. Noone may. You cannot reach me. But it is all ok.

I'm ok. I'm just fine. I always am just fine. Ask me and you'll know. Ask me and u will see. See, I laugh! See I smile! See I am alive.

But I am dark inside. I am night. And I am pain, and I am deepest hunger for affection, that can never be fulfilled.

Not like this. Not like that. Too broken I think to start again. I will continue on as I have been, lurking within my own lair of blindness and drowning in the ink.

I am smiling. See? I am laughing, see?? So, I must be alright.

Now, go now. Leave me be, it is dark for me. The murk, the mire of my desire, my own choosing, let me sink.

I cannot be the thing u need. I cannot give the thing u wanted, for only half of me is here, the other half is too dark to see. Only half a girl, that's me.

I cannot fill u up. I cannot give all that I should. If I could, u know I would, but all that's here is ink.

I open my mouth and ink pours out. I open my eyes, and the sunlight stings, so I close them up again. I tuck myself in to my safe lil corner in the dark. This is my corner. You may not come here. Noone can reach. You will be disappointed, for I cannot do my part. I cannot give when I have nothing left. All I can do is sit and think, why I am dark and my world is ink.
Comfort For The Soulless by Gelfwings

(before any mods delete this or something for inappropriateness, I wanna explain that this poem is about vampires. It is about a woman who is in love with one and she is letting the guy vampire turn her into a vampire, and that is what is going on in this. If someone still feels it is inappropriate then they can delete it, but they are just drinking blood from eachothers necks in the poem, cuz some people in the past have not realized this poem was even about vampires and misinterpreted it, tho I think it is easily clear that it is about them) oh, ya, and it's not about Twilight type vampires. It is about actual cool deep dark powerful type vampires

Comfort me, close to your heart..
don't open your eyes, lest the magic be lost

Here in the dark, souls bared completely
Welcome you in

Such beauty as this, I have never known.
My hunger satisfy. I burn, I blaze for you

Your blood I smell Your taste, I know it well
another drink dear, another sip

savor the it up.
I'll drink you and you drink me,
Eternal bliss, ripe for this moment

Craving your comforting embrace
Sink them deep, swallow, I give myself to you

Trust is in my eyes, icy skin, but we shall make it warm

Your breath smells of my life, given to you

I shall not take any of this from you. Forever yours in this window

In this well. In this special place. This magic that you do

You Soulless love of mine, You ever living one

In your embrace, in your firm grip, You have me now

In pain in everlasting agony, you are my glimmer

You shine, you shine, the darkness radiates, you shimmer

I feel my life, given to you, I feel my soul is with you too.

My trusting eyes , my yearning heart, my lonely voice heard me call.

There. There in my window, ever with me now, come, my love, come and enter this world
I shall set you free from the bonds you bear, I shall loose you and you shall feast, yes, you shall drink

Comfort me with your magic, put me under your spell

All for you, look into my eyes..all.....
Lost In My Gaze by Gelfwings

Lost in my stare, lost in my gaze..
I hold you there, captivated.

Piercing your heart, locking on

You know that this is what u wanted, to be seen

Deep and powerful, fascination

Delighted sparkling flashing
Pupils dilated, warm, enticing

You know this is what u needed.

Don't fight it. Embrace it

Lose yourself to me

I will not hurt you, I will not condemn

Open your soul

Let me in

There is no resistance anymore

I caress with my eyes

I feel you there.

Darkest night, brightest day

Beauty is all I see in you

Let my eyes behold you
Look deep within you

Carefully, quietly, gently..
I see, oh, yes, I see

Tenderly and passionately,
Viewing...inviting...window to the soul

Ir runs deep, let me see

Expose yourself to me
Relax, my treasure, relax

Take the step forward, into my light,
Enter my vision.

Meld, melt, lose yourself with my gaze

My sight, my vision, your reflection in my eyes
That's Life by Gelfwings

Rapid waves, crashing down,

Casual friends all waiting

Troubled waters here

Closest secrets, all exposed,

It was all because of you

What u did

What u said


Racing towards some unknown,

Hoping for a rainbow,

Sunlight's gift

Wasted effort, again,

Brush the dirt away.

What I am

What I was

Broken trust

Broken dream

Pendulum slowly, steadily swings

And I look back,

I turn and look back,

With regret

It cannot be undone.
Chaos and Confusion by Gelfwings

U don't know what ur holding in ur hands. You do not comprehend and see. You toss it carelessly about. The very soul of me. It was given, it is taken, nevermore returned. What other crave, what others beg, what others long to have. You threw it out the window, let it drop upon the floor, bounced it like a ball, hit it threw the door.

I am less than nothing. I am more then all. U shall not forget me, cuz noone ever has. You can try to erase me, but I imprint your mind. My essence is stronger then others who have come before. My heart beats louder then those who follow after.
You will come back soon, come on bended knee, begging to have returned what you threw away of me. But I have been patient and let the cards fall where they may. I let you make the bed, and in it you shall lay.

Night is coming soon. The dreaded wind will howl, and u shall finally realize, you once had it all. It was withing your reach, offered on a platter, all of me displayed, a gift so freely given.

Lightly you beheld me, lightly played upon my breast. You did not see a difference, thought I was like the rest.

But now you know, begin to see, what u lost that day. What u had within your arms has floated far away.

You have been forgiven many times plus one, I have been so patient, reduced myself to less.

You thought u had an average, but I was better then the rest.

I can do more, be more, give more, feel more. I bestowed upon you all, and u have cursed yourself.

Now the lights gone out, now the boat has sailed away. Chances taken lightly melt within the night. What was wrong is here to stay, never to be right.

Go now, with yourself, and ponder what you've done. It shall not be returned to you, not on daylights wings, not on the morning sun. See, I fly, I flit away, I am angel dust and dew, and I am spring and summer, with or without u.

Broken trashed so silently, I shall weep alone, I am knives and daggers, I am ice and stone. The gift you lost...and I was more, yes, I was more not less.

I was the queen, the shining light. The one who came in darkest night to lay upon your chest. I was the hope, the playfullness, the cheer and brightness of ur day.

You do not know, you never shall, what u have gave away.

I tried, I tried my very best to give without receiving, but you know as well as I that I was starving deep inside, and all because of you. The ashes that I have become, I shall shape into roses. I will open up my heart and let it break once more.

What you have done to me I say, it shall be done once more.

I know where I step, where my feet fall, I walk into the snare with open eyes, I give my soul And let it rot, and betray myself I think. I do not know. I do not care, for I am nothing anymore, yet I am everything.

Inside me lives the one who waits for all eternity, and she is strong and she is deep and sucks my life away.

I have more to give then all of they, my soul it overwhelms, I have always been this way. The life the breath the essence of all a woman can be and all a child is.

The child she bows her head and walks away and turns her back to you. The woman she raises up with fangs that bite right through. They rip the flesh, my eyes are blinded, and I am so confused.

What once was shall never be and will never come again, not with them and not with u. Alone I am and that is how I have to be. My heart cannot take much more. But yet I feel it cracking, even as I close the door.
Growing Us Forever by Gelfwings

We can truly move mountains, or whatever's in our way. We can create a miracle, right here, right now, today It's in the love, the devotion and the trust. It's what we have linking us, the connection is a must.

We have to work to get there. To forgive, then keep on trying. Its the hope that helps us get there and prevents the love from dying.

Forever and ever it can be you and i together. We can want it and desire it and wish it and make it so. We can water this thing and make it grow and grow.

Noone can stop us if we stay focused and don't lose sight, we can get there we will make it. I wanna try with all my might.

My greatest desire is to have this thing with you. This wondrous magic life together, and I know it can come true.

It takes two to make it and we are that special two. Every thought and action works toward dreams coming true.

Reach for the sky with me, lets soar to the highest heights. Let's shine on together, brighter then all lights.

Just you and me. Just us. And we are so much more. We are what we believe. We will have good things in store.

So come on take my hand, hold it tightly, and never let it go. Grow, baby, grow with me...come on and let us grow!
My Love And I by Gelfwings

All that's in my heart I give, all that I am and ever shall be. To you, my love, to you. And let us sail away one day to someplace safe, just you and me. And let us play and love and laugh. And let our grief all be past and nothing more come to challenge or delay the love that's bursting forth today.

Where mountains loom and valleys sink, and rivers flow and dragons drink, and magic flows all through my being, strong and deep and fully given. Let us flee, let us run to there, the place where wind blows thru my hair. Where always spring blossoms grow and never chilled, yet purest snow.
Come, my love, run with me. Be young, be happy, fully free.

Where no tears stain my pillow case and I can scamper and you will chase. Where the hunt is on for love and life, and you my king and I your wife.

The words they flow like candy from our lips and kisses brush like finger tips, and close to you I'll be for sure and none shall interrupt our play. Wisk me, darling, far away.

Take the pain and work and woe, let it fly, let it go. Build the trust and hope and love, Float with me far up above. Dance on the clouds with me, my dear. I'll hold you close, I want you near.

Forever and ever let our love be, may our passion live on for eternity. Deeply, deeply in your embrace, deeper and deeper, for this is my place. My perfect spot that no other may know, so close to you, and only closer we grow.

Some settle for less, I will settle for more. More time and love with you in store. Of you, my love, I never grow tired, your kiss it fuels my strong desire. I want to fly with you today. Carry me, love, so far away.
Crumpled Leaves by Gelfwings

The leaves were green once...fresh, soft and new..

Shiny sparkling wet in the morning dew
THe leaves were so full of life, the future held such hope and expectation.

Every morning was brand new and every day a precious revelation.
But then came the frost....
The cold biting cutting frost.
The steel and knives unseen

Destroying all that ever was and anything that couldd have been.
Now all is dark, and cold and silent. No destiny, no cause.
Nothing does the future hold, no light, no sun, no love.

The rain can never wash away the damaage done by frost.

THe leaves are crumpled now and brown and dry and lifeless.

Nothing anymore. Just there to be trampled upon, under foot, uncaring as they dissintigrate with time.

Just a memory faintly somewhere in another time. Just a passing dream that neve came to be.
Empty, without life, without any feeling of warmth or light er day.

Weak and helpless, dying there, just waitying there...til they blow away.