Forget Rednecks...
Here is what Jeff Foxworthy has
to say about Canadians:
If your local Dairy Queen is closed from
September through May,
you may live in Canada .
If someone in a Home Depot store
offers you assistance and they don't work there,
you may live in Canada .
If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time,
you may live in Canada .
If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation
With someone who dialled a wrong number,
you may live in Canada .
If 'vacation' means going anywhere
South of Detroit for the weekend,
you may live in Canada .
If you measure distance in hours,
you may live in Canada .
If you know several people
who have hit a deer more than once,
you may live in Canada .
If you have switched from 'heat' to 'A/C'
in the same day and back again,
you may live in Canada .
If you can drive 90 km/hr through 2 feet of snow
during a raging blizzard without flinching,
you may live in Canada .
If you install security lights on your house and garage, but leave both unlocked,
you may live in Canada .
If you carry jumper cables in your car
and your wife knows how to use them,
you may live in Canada .
If you design your kid's Halloween costume
to fit over a snowsuit,
you may live in Canada .
If the speed limit on the highway is 80 km --
you're going 95 and everybody is passing you,
you may live in Canada .
If driving is better in the winter
because the potholes are filled with snow,
you may live in Canada .
If you know all 4 seasons:
almost winter, winter, still winter,
and road construction,
you may live in Canada .
(this is my favourite, because how true)
If you have more miles
on your snow blower than your car,
you may live in Canada .
If you find -2 degrees 'a little chilly',
you may live in Canada .
If you actually understand these jokes,
you definitely are Canadian and proud to be.
