Stupid things you hear at work

Mai Valentine

Mai Valentine

Moderator
Some of the stupid things I've heard:

-"What is a camcorder?"
dot.gif


-"What do batteries do?"

Today, a customer was looking at SD cards. One says 1GB. The other says 1.0GB. The customer insists on getting the one that says 1GB even though I tell him it's exactly the same.

We get some silly phone calls, too.

Me: (answers phone) Upland Wal-Mart One Hour Photo.
Customer: I need the camera department.

Me: (answers phone) Upland Wal-Mart One Hour Photo.
Customer: Is this the one hour photo?
 
Me: "Thank you for choosing [insert tire retailer name here], this is Chris, how can I help you?"

Customer: "Yeah I need to speak with a tire salesman."

I think: "Are you an idiot? Seriously, this ain't Walmart. I don't sell tires and toilet paper."

I say: "I am a tire salesman."

Customer: "Oh."
______________________________________

Me: (same greeting as above)

Customer: "Do you have wireless so I can wait to get my tire repaired?"

Me: "How long do you think it will take? And, uh, no."

______________________________________

Customer: "I wasn't happy with these tires, and this makes me think that maybe next time I'll have to buy them somewhere else."

Me: "Sir, I didn't make these tires, I only sell them."

________________________________________

Customer: "I want a mileage warranty and a trade-in credit."

(Mileage warranties go back to the manufacturer, and are done when the tire is worn out. Trade-ins are when tires are still in good condition. it's like trying to get your auto insurance to pay you for your totaled car, and attempting at the same time to trade it in on a new car.)

Me: "No."
 
PnT
---------
customer: *picks up guitar controller* is this for guitar hero?

Me: no, its for Super Mario Galaxy *sarcasm*

*customer leaves*
----------
Customer: What kind of games do you sell here?

Me: Video Games
----------
Customer: If i take this game to Gamestop, will they pay me more for it than you would?

Me: I dont know but you'll spend more money on gas getting to the nearest gamestop than they'll give you for that game.
----------
Customer: *holds up PS2 box* Will this work on my PS3?

Me: What model is it?

Customer: it's a PS3

Me: no, what model

Customer: oh, its made by Sony

Me: No Sir, i mean, how many gbs does it have?

Customer: I dont know, it's the black one.

Me: I'm sorry sir, i can't help you.

Customer: isnt this a video game store?

Me: Nope, its a beauty parlor *sarcasm*
 
If you do actually work there, you're gonna get fired real quick if you vocalize your every thought. As the leaving customer shows, you're driving away business for being generally unhelpful just because they don't know which guitars are compatible with Guitar Hero, or that certain PS3s aren't backwards compatible. That's why people(usually) ask questions is because they want an answer.

So while it may be funny, keep those responses in your head.
 
^ Good advice. You must have the tact to know which customers you can get away with speaking like that, and ones that'll kill your employment. And nothing looks worse than having to write "my sarcasm" in the box that asks, "Were you ever fired or asked to resign? If so, why?" on your next job application.
 
Oh god, I got too many of these

Customer: What is the obsession with Pokemon? I like games were you get to DO STUFF! Like on the Wii!"

Me: "Do stuff? like every game?"


----------------

Customers: $450 for a PS3 60GB?! I CAN GET ONE FOR $399!

-----------------

Customer: Do you make the prices?

Me: "Yes with my magic pencil....come...have a look..."

----------------------------

Customer: What games are good for a 4 year old that doesn't require reading?"

Me: "............*thinks* this is gonna be good.."

----------------------------------

Customers: Do y'all sell music CD's?

Me: No, we sell eye patches and raccoon skinned hats.

-------------------

Customer: Is this the cheapest you'll go?

Me: No, why? You like Limbo games?

---------------------

Me: Okay it's gonna be $9 in cash for just this game.

Customer: Can you make it an even $10?"

Me: I'm not Howie Mandel.

-----------------

Customer: This game was only placed twice!

Me: *looks at the disc to see big scratches on it* "Yeah you're right, two times the damage.."

--------------------

Customer: *Holds the case* Do you have this game in stock?

Me: No, we sell empty cases.

------------------------------------------------

Customer: Do you guys fix 360's? Microsoft wants to charge me $100. My cousin dropped it. *Shows me a 360 that has the AV input ripped out*

Me: *eyes widen from the horror of the damaged 360* Only Microsoft can touch those, since they are mostly still under warranty"

Customer: Well, can you recommend a place where I can buy the parts?

Me: No one that I know of, only Microsoft can fix those.


-----------------------------------------------------

Customer: Is Metal Gear Solid 4 on PS2?

Me: No, just PS3 only.

Customer: THAT"S RETARDED!!

--------------------------

Customer: Is GTA4 on PS2?

Me: No just PS3 and 360 only.

Customer: THAT'S STUPID!! I CANT AFFORD A $600 SYSTEM!!

Me: *thinks* (You don't shop or leave the house much, do you?)

--------------------------------------------

Customer: *prank calls* DO YOU HAVE F-ZERO ON NINTENDO 64 DISK DRIVE?

Me: Phew, Konnichi wa, because that's the only way you're gonna get one...*Hangs up*

---------------------------------------------------------------

Customer: *prank calls* DO YOU HAVE BATTLETOADS FOR Wii?

Employee of mine: "You do know thats an internet joke? that doesn't work in real life. EPIC FAIL" *Hangs up*

---------------------------------------

Customer: Do you have that ONE game? you know what I mean?

Me: *Shows the game ONE starring Bruce Willis from PS1". Why, yes I do :)

-----------------------------------------

Call from best buy employee: "Do you have a system selector with HD and Optical inputs?

Me: No, but I got a question for you, are you taking pre-orders for little big planet on PS3? with the code that is the pre-order bonus?"

Best Buy Employee: "No, we just give away some sack figure."

Me: "That blows" *thinks* (You're a dirty filthy liar and I hope you burn in heck...)

-------------------------------------------

Customer: Nah, we can't buy it, the game is used.

Me: You do know that we resurface every disc before selling it back out to the public by a very expensive machine that cost $19,000 by a company called Azuradisc and back up everything with a 90 warranty, right?

Customer: That's okay, we'll go to Wal-Mart.

Me: *flips them off*

--------------------------------------------------

Customer: Why couldn't my PS2 be fixed?

Me: There was 6 screws, 1 metal, and 3 plastic pieces missing. Which means, someone has already opened it before we even got near it.

Customer: It wasn't open though.

Me: *points to the bold VOID logo from removing the sticker* EPIC FAIL!!!!!!!!!


------------------------------
 
MegaDrive20XX said:
Customer: Do you have that ONE game? you know what I mean?
Me: *Shows the game ONE starring Bruce Willis from PS1". Why, yes I do :)
Click to expand...

Customer: Do you have The Secret?
Me: We sure do, right over here!

They want:
TheSecretreal.jpg

I show them:
TheSecret.jpg

I know they don't want the one I show them, but it's funny anyway. The one they want is a stationery item that we almost never have in stock. :D
 
fhqwhgads said:
If you do actually work there, you're gonna get fired real quick if you vocalize your every thought. As the leaving customer shows, you're driving away business for being generally unhelpful just because they don't know which guitars are compatible with Guitar Hero, or that certain PS3s aren't backwards compatible. That's why people(usually) ask questions is because they want an answer.

So while it may be funny, keep those responses in your head.
Click to expand...
Im usually not the one interacting with the customers, but when i do, i like to get a kick out of it, and i doubt i would get fired cuz the boss usually has to deal with it.
 
RJ1022 said:
Im usually not the one interacting with the customers, but when i do, i like to get a kick out of it, and i doubt i would get fired cuz the boss usually has to deal with it.
Click to expand...

nothing good will happen if you keep thinking that. is better if you take fhq's advice and NEVER do it.
 
I caught myself doing that a BUNCH at work last week. It was like my mouth just kept n going after my brain yelled STOP!! I was for sure that someone was gonna go to a manager on me but I just couldn't stop it. :(
 
Joyling said:
If the boss has to fix up your mistakes, why wouldn't that create a negative view of you?
Click to expand...
i meant the boss usually deals with idiots. i usually just clean windows and put games into the systems for the customers. but i quit anyway so its just funny now. XD
 
In the course of a long and drawn out conversation yesterday, an idiot told me that he wanted trade-in credit towards the purchase of new tires. Okay, I think. I ask him how much he thought they were worth. He says $75 per tire. I walk him. Why? The new tires he wanted are $53 per tire.
 
Being a telemarketer, everyday I hear odd, stupid, unusual, or random things. There are too many too list, and as most of you probably already can assume not appropriate to list here. :lol
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top